Truly, I do. And I figured I might as well bring this up, after that little list on horror comedies I did recently. You see, most horror comedies came out of the 80s...because it was the decade of camp. Each particular film era can basically be separated by decade, and each has very specific aspects to the films that come out of it, if you just pay attention. The most obvious ones may be the 20s, the 40s, the 60s, and the 80s...to the untrained eye...the 20s was a wonderful time when people were experi-you know what? I'm just going to dive right into the 80s, because I don't have time to write out a thesis on each decade I mentioned, and then delve into the ones I haven't. The topic for this post is 80s films. Of course, I'm specifying camp alone. Sure there were those great dramas and such that came out occasionally, but who cares about those? Here I am going to list 25 fantastic campy flicks...abstaining from menton the horror comedies I brought up in my last one.

1. My Demon Lover - This may be a mild horror comedy, but it's far more of a rom-com. A sweet story about a mousy girl who picks up stray dogs and boyfriends, then finally meets the man of her dreams. Of course, he happens to grow horns and turn into an insanely hateful Catholic mother sometimes (not all at once) but...at least he isn't homeless and creepy. Okay, he is actually homeless and creepy...but far less homeless and creepy than your average homeless creepy guy. So you gotta give him points for that. I saw this as a kid, and for the longest time couldn't find the name...or much info about it, because you're pretty much lost if you don't know the title of a flick and only very vaguely remember bits and pieces. I always thought Scott Valentine (said creepy homeless shape-changing boyfriend) was a member of Tears for Fears...it was probably his hair...and that threw me way off track until I just randomly found this when I was digging through google for something to idly watch. This is the perfect campy film to watch late at night, and it's guaranteed to charm you if you can handle camp and bad acting to a moderate degree (most of the bad acting coming from Scott, but he's cute, so you have to forgive him.)

2. Adventures in Babysitting - Truck driver with a hook hand, giant mexican dog-rat, a zany misadventure with a bunch of kids (one of them being the very annoying horny geek of your nightmares)...and in the words of Steve Coogan: "Elizabeth Shueeeee". This was a film my grandmother would pop into the vcr every weekend, because much like me, she repetitively watches certain films until they wear out. Can you imagine my joy when I saw it for 5 dollars on a wal-mart dvd sale shelf? (Speaking of which, was that sale not crazy? Secret of Nimh, Thumbelina, Puppetmaster 1-3 triple pack...absolutely insane!) I believe it also follows the heroic cycle too. People always go on about 'Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead', but I have NEVER finished that snore-fest. Nah, gimme Adventures in Babysitting any day. I don't want to see a babysitter die, I want to see her trapped in a garage full of car thieves, climbing over a giant pole, fleeing through a night club, and getting the kids tucked in on time.

3. The Back to the Future Trilogy - ...I may have bought the special edition tri-pack recently...and it may be on prominent display in my dvd shelf...and I may or may not be planning to hijack a theater and watch them all in succession on the gloriously huge screen. But I'm sure you'd all do the same too. I don't think I need to describe why this rocks, because it goes without saying. But lemme tell ya, when that sales clerk had to go into the back room and literally dig for it in a bunch of unsold stock...man did she give me the stink eye.

4. Airplane - 1980...it still counts. If you argue, it's disrespectful to the dead. God bless Leslie Neilson and everyone else involved with this. Eat your heart out, Scary Movie, THIS is groan-worthy lulz to the nth degree. It's got everything, from inflatable autopilot, to guitar-playing stewardesses, a little old white lady who speaks fluent street (or funk, what have you)...god...it's just...so...campalicious. Plus, one-liners. Any movie with 10+ amazing quotable one-liners deserves to be in the hall of comedy fame.

5. April Fool's Day - Twist ending. Clayton Rohner. Various 'gory' moments. There's so much to love about this movie, but most of all...the movie box. Do you know how difficult it is to braid your hair, let alone into the shape of a noose, all while holding a knife and a wine glass? I think not.

6. Robocop - This is what influenced me to actually write this whole post. I'd seen it as a kid, but didn't remember much. I know I liked it. But afterwards, once I'd forgotten most of it...I just thought 'man, what a stupid concept...a robo...cop? Seriously, that's got to be the most cheesy, stupid, idiotic, redundant...' True, it may be cheesy, but it definitely isn't stupid. My only issue is that the main character goes from being attractive to horribly unattractive. I hate when they do that. They did it in Spawn too. If the main character was female, her horrible mutilation wouldn't have left her as a bucket of unappealing bolts, I can tell you that much. In fact, they'd probably have managed to somehow save most of her obvious anatomy...but I digress. This was still one of the better cheesy action films out there, and it was quite tongue-in-cheek (most good camp is, lest it risk the wrath of MST3K.)

7. Beetlejuice - Before Tim Burton's works became boring predictable slide-shows of black spirals and dead people in varied states of OTT clothes, there was...Beetlejuice...and other stuff, but right now I'm just talking about this one. This movie spawned a cartoon I spent much of my childhood watching. Plus it's got puppetry AND stop-motion...gotta love it. Alec Baldwin before he was fat, Geena Davis, Micheal Keaton before he practically vanished into relative obscurity...This movie made me terrified to walk around in the sandy driveway on my grandfather's farm for months. And it also gave me an undying urge to somehow create a replica of my hometown right down to the seedy buildings and poor road-work...

8. Big Trouble in Little China - SQUEEEEEAL! Kurt Russell, the only reason there are Chuck Norris jokes is because people were too scared you'd come knocking at their doors. Anyway, Trucker Vs. Evil Chinese Immortal dude and his gang of ferocious video game henchmen...obviously it's a must-see. What about that sentence is not appealing, other than the boring interruption with the word 'and'?

9. The Bill & Ted movies - I preferred the sequel, because I saw it first. But the first one was good. This was when I was a kid, and I had no idea George Carlin had one of the foulest mouths on the planet. Sure, there were plenty....pleeeenty of jokes that flew over my head...but I can't count the number of times I rewound the scenes of Bill & Ted in the afterlife...that cake just looked so tasty...of course, it also led me to foolishly believe that if I tried hard enough, I could actually make real guitar sounds by strumming my fingers in the air...

10. The Boyfriend School/Don't Tell Her it's Me - I really really like this movie. It's another rom-com, but with an aspect I find so incredibly appealing. The main character is a comic artist. I am a comic artist. He's Steve Guttenberg. I love Steve Guttenberg. And jellyfish spaghetti may have looked absolutely foul in it, but I'm still curious...what on earth does it taste like? There's also a major make-over scene, for those of you who love montages.

11. Earth Girls are Easy - Speaking of films with major make-over scenes, let's talk about this one. Even now, I don't think any other movie has beat this one's record for most-played on FX. Three hairy aliens come to earth, and systematically cause mischief generally focused around human women. But don't worry, they don't have tentacles, so it's okay. Did I really just make that joke? Yes I did. You may shower now.

12. Child's Play - Part 4 on are indeed comedies. But the first three weren't. And the first one...is still creepy to this day. For those who've never seen it, laugh all you once. But I DARE you to watch this movie alone, and not jump when she opens the battery pack and then drops the doll...I DARE YOU! Anyway, as cheesy as it may seem, conceptually, the camp was outweighed by the fact that this was really a good movie. I guess I should save it for general horror, but I'd say it's major enough in the 80s to warrent being on this list...

13. Fletch - I don't understand why people nowadays don't classify Chevy as a top comedian. Sure, he's not doing much anymore...but he did a lot of really funny stuff. This being one of the funnier ones. What's amazing is that the sequel is pretty good too, which is an extreme rarity, especially in the case of comedies. Imagine if Clouseau were self-aware and not clumsy at all, but was in fact Chevy Chase...I'll admit, not much in common besides their somewhat similar profession...but they're both funny. So...yeah. Alright, newspaper reporter and inspector/detective/whatever may be vastly different, but I figured I might as well figure out SOME WAY to give Sellers a shout-out...

14. The Gate - This is where we delve into extreme on the camp side, and not much else on the other. But there's one bit where one of the kids has an eye in his hand...and I'm going to give it street cred for that alone. Plus, it proves once and for all that rock/metal is the devil...really, it is...

15. Heathers - How on EARTH did Winona get two movies on this list? Because she was still young enough to be appreciated as a talented young actress, before being old enough to be considered a mediocre adult actress, that's why. This whole story is just so deliciously morbid...but the one fault it has, is that I can't watch it again. But for the one time I did, it was absolutely brilliant, and everything a weird movie should aspire to be.

16. Innerspace - Why doesn't Martin Short do much any more? Really, I want to know. Because this movie was just great, and nobody else could have pulled off his character. But what I really liked is that Innerspace took a tired sci-fi plot that was never really interesting in the first place, and went with it, somehow pulling off a good film in the process. But the part with the bad guy falling in the stomach acid...makes me cringe to this day...and also think of fried chicken...

17. The Worst Witch - The mother of all low-budget movies. But it's still quite good, for a kid's flick. Fairuza Balk plays a clumsy young witch-in-training, as opposed to a psycho-bitch witch (which she would do several years later.) And Tim Curry has a pretty awful good song...yep, pretty awful good. So awful it's good. Not his singing, but the song and ESPECIALLY the special effects. They were bad, even for the 80s, and that's saying something. Rather like a poor powerpoint presentation with cheesy slide effects...and obnoxious colors...

18. Weird Science - Computer nerds make an electronic super model genie, as the name surely vaguely implies. Of course, whenever I think of this movie, I only picture two things...Oingo Boingo and teen boys with bras on their heads in a semi-religious ceremony...

19. They Live - Bad acting. REALLY BAD ACTING. God-awful acting. Terrible acting. But sunglasses that help you see evil alien zombie-looking things? Totally cool...

20. The Stuff - When I was a kid, I'm pretty sure this gave me nightmares. And it's also a subconscious reason I hate marshmallow fluff. Despite it's campy qualities, humerous bits, and cheesy concept, the underlying result of the whole issue is really depressing. It's also an astonishing example of what we're willing to put into our bodies. Forget HFCS, this is volcanic body-snatching white goop with an addictive flare! Moderately worse than the former.

21. Splash - I've always loved mermaid stories. I don't know why, because when you think about it...there's not much they've got going for them. Human above, fish below...I can't imagine dealing with the cloying body odors. They never show that in the films...but love knows no bounds in this cute treasure. Twice as awkward as Ariel, five times as real! And poor Eugene Levy really takes a beating in this...I just love it.

22. Short Circuit - Let's face it, Wall-e has got to be a distant midget cousin of J-5. He's just got better taste in chicks (I'm sorry, but c'mon...she's a poster girl for those crazy PETA nuts. Yes, they're crazy AND nuts.) It's the part of me that can't resist really cute things that landed this one on the list. Even the Nostalgia Critic admitted he loved Short Circuit, after tearing it a new one. So there.

23. Revenge of the Nerds -  Sadly, only part one could make it on this list...because it was the only watchable part of the entire damned franchise. I don't know what went wrong, because this one was amazing! I suspect it's because booger became a nerd in the rest of them, when he was originally just a creepy jailbate-chasing slob in this one...yet somehow cool. Plus, the kid was like a teenager in part two, and don't get me started on the rest of those...you know what, let's just focus on what made this one good. It took the losers vs. all-odds in a college campus setting, and went with it in a cute way (by the way, thumbs up here to Animal House as well.)

24. Raising Arizona - I've never really loved kidnappers in movies before. Usually they're evil monsters of scorn and disgust...but in this movie, you really felt for them. Especially when the evil unstoppable motorcycle guy with a relatively non-existent vocabulary started chasing after them. It's a good story, but...very sad.

25. Paperhouse - Kudos to you if you can get a hold of this movie. In a way, it's not really that campy at all. A little girl basically starts drawing a house, and dreams about it...and then gradually becomes aware that she may not be just making it all up. This is pretty much Cronenberg if he wasn't so creepy with his films, and made them oriented towards children. But I mean...he'd REALLY have to tone down the weird factor.

 

Honorable mentions: Far too many, faaaaar too many to name. Let's just say, I like a lot of them.

Movies that should be destroyed at all costs: Teen Vamp...to be edited later....

Yeah, I know I said this was only for discussing my comic...but I changed my mind. Instead, I'm going to make this a general journal again. And my first topic: Staying Up. I will probably return to it several times over the course of the coming months, unless things settle down. I'll start from the beginning...

When I was 8, I always went to bed when my parents told me to. Let me correct that, I always went to bed after my parents told me to about 12 times. I'd ask for a glass of water, complain that the dark scared me, plead to stay up to watch one show, etcetera...etcetera. I was your average kid who hated sleeping because I felt like I was missing out on something amazing.

But one night...I woke up early. Very early. In fact, it was the first time I'd ever been up at such an hour. 4 AM, a mystical time I'd never even considered really existed...let alone 2 or 3 AM. My knowledge of night time did not go beyond 11 pm, because after that there was morning. I couldn't understand why I'd woken up at 4, perhaps I was dreaming or perhaps a magical fairy had granted me a moment when adults and friends couldn't bother me. I was my own person...the world was my oyster. Time itself had frozen still, like it did in tv shows. Over the course of the next month, I kept waking up that early without my parents ever knowing...I watched whatever I wanted, played with my toys, drank my dad's soda...it was exhilarating. But then...dad woke up early too...and he'd found out my secret. Then came a speech about growing bodies, and the dangers of not sleeping enough...it downright terrified me. I didn't want to be a dwarf or have my hair fall out! Let alone both at the same time. So it was back to the usual schedule.

Years later, when I had matured and become a true adult...12...I started staying up late, instead of waking up early. I couldn't help it, I was just so fond of late night programming. Not to mention, a lot of things were going on at that time that really stressed me out. Apparently, when I'm upset  and don't know it...I can't sleep (I also have another issue with my scalp, but that's my business and definitely not something I want to post about.) Eventually though, I'd run out of movies to watch on HBO (porn was disgusting, and I'd seen 'But I'm a Cheerleader' plus all of the Coffin Joe films about a thousand times.) So, I began to compulsively clean until I got tired. I'd clean and clean and clean until my leg bones ached...funny story, I always know I'm really tired when my legs hurt. Then it's an unbearable feeling, like having stood on them for several hours straight...I used to think they were growing pains, but I'm 21 and I still get them.

Mom and dad found out I'd been cleaning, and decided to give me an allowance! 20 dollars a month, which was more than I'd ever gotten in my life for anything, sadly. This brought back the feeling of wonder I'd felt when I was 8, about discovering 4 AM. Now I'd get money from it? Who cared if I didn't grow any more, I was already 5'6...tall enough. And if I lost some hair, I didn't care about that either...because again, I've got plenty of it (don't get me started on the complaints I get from beauticians when I go to get it trimmed.)

Eventually things were back to normal though, and I just didn't feel like staying up late anymore...sure, the allowance stopped...but it didn't matter. I was able to sleep again, and I'd forgotten how wonderful it was just to be able to lay down at 10 pm and start dreaming instantly. Off and on though, ever since, when I get stressed...insomnia rolls in.

There's nothing to enjoy about it now. For one thing, I think I've seen too many movies (I'm literally running out of easily available flicks that are both good, and I haven't seen.) For another, I HATE cleaning...but I still do it to get to sleep. Still, it doesn't work. And the later I stay up, the more I sleep the next day. Right now I don't have a job and I'm not going to school (taking a semester off, because I just got my first apartment...) As it turns out, most of my relatives are insomniacs. My great grandmother stopped sleeping 6 full hours the day she turned 40, and my dad...I can't tell you how many times I've heard him pacing across the hallway at 3 AM, and staying up the rest of the night. Sometimes I wonder if when I was 8, the first time I'd gotten up at 4...maybe, just maybe, if I'd gone right back to sleep...it wouldn't be so hard now.

Lost my pw, no longer have the email address to my old account...for previous entries, see ranranami. For now, this is my new journal.